Year The Abuse Occurred/Began2008
Type of Abuseabandonment, financial, neglect, physical, psychological/verbal
I am a psychotherapist here in Northern California. I am a mother of two sets of identical twins.
My father had been living independently in Fresno, California. Around 2007 my eldest brother whom suffers from mental illness and is obsessed with money came up with a plan to show my father was incompetent and then take over and have access to all his money. When this came to light my mother, (who is divorced from my father, but was close to him) my sister and I realized for his safely from my brother, literally packed a few bags and got on a plane and went to the Seattle Washington area. It was felt my being 3 hours away was too close for my brother having access to my father. To make a long story short, in 2009 my father was living in independent living when he had a fall and broke his ribs. This put him in rehab. There were some circumstances, many of which were caused by my sisters negligence dad was put in a residential home run by a girl in her 20's. While in rehab dad and I had discussed dad coming back to California to be with me. I was the one he was closest to. Within a few days of dad being in the home my sister found this out. She immediately talked dads doctor into giving her drugs and he was drugged up and held against his will.
I was to find out my sister had drawn up a power of attorney which dad never read and was only told to him by my sister and the attorney which gave her immediate and full access to dads wealth without having to run anything by him. She had been embezzling large amounts of money from him. She could not be found out so she did everything in her power from that point on to keep dad drugged up, and convinced everyone who saw him that he had serious dementia. She then set it up where I was never to talk to him again, nor was my mother. my mother then with my mothers pleading had monitored calls. To make a long story brief, I contacted all the elder abuse authorities but given dad was drugged up, she took his glasses, had him wheelchair bound and did everything in her power to have him debilitated and look that way to anyone who saw him. No agency believed me as she conned everyone and as a POA everyone bought her story of she was the wonderful daughter and I was the unstable one. I was able at one time to get to talk to dad as he was waiting for me to get him and bring him back to California. I told him XX was not allowing me to talk to him and as she had the POA I could not bring him back. Several weeks after that dad took matters into his own hands when the owners of the home were on vacation and a sub was there. Dad an very introverted and shy man staged a blow up where he was taken to the hospital. Once there dad whom I think has an aspect of Aspergers so his communication style is as such. Dad stated repeatedly wanting to be in calif, that he did not want my sister in charge. Dad was freeing himself. When I heard from mom that dad freed himself I contacted the hospital. They were on alert and contacted the social worker. I let them know once XX gets there she will shut him up and convince everyone that it is dads dementia. And that happened. XX had dad put in a locked psych ward and on a anti psychotic medication. Dad did not want to go back to the home and with dads Asperger personality, dad does not explain things in a regular linear way he just gets to the point. During that stay I was able to talk to dad and I can not tell you the pain of dad telling me that what was happening to him was worse than any human should ever have to endure. Dad would not talk to anyone but me as XX always gave strict instructions for anyone to tell her if he ever says anything and that with his dementia he had no credibility. So he was treated as someone who could not comprehend anything being by everyone. AFter he got out I was given a restraining order. There were pages and pages of fabricated false accusations. To get a restraining order the judge hears the case from my sister before there is even a date for me to come in. So before I set foot in the court room, I was viewed as guilty by the judge. I judge declares I should never have the right to see my father again. It takes about a year for the restraining order to be overturned at the Superior Court Level in Seattle, on the basis that my sister had no legal right as she is not an attorney to file this against me. I was able to see my father again. However the anxiety on my sister was huge. Dad was placed in a dementia unit. My sister had to began fabrications about me and I could not get out of the legal system. Interesting to note though with my bringing the situation to light at the dementia unit, as XX could not pull off the degree of drugging (dad was able to walk again with a walker from being wheelchair bound). There are many other things happening during this time as well as emotional and even physical abuse happening in the original residential home. My story was were the legal system failed my father. I know how someone can "legally" abuse their parent under authorities eyes and even get the cooperation of agencies and doctors in committing abuse. This is a summary, the details are much worse than there is room for here. I am writing a book on dads story of elder abuse and the system that failed him. I also want to educate to prevent this from happening to others. My father died alone in the hospital. The hospital told my sister he could be home and with hospice but my sister left him in the hospital to die. I had flown to see dad in the hospital. My sister had mentioned to him I was coming. Dad was by himself as I got there he took his last breath as I held his hand. I sobbed and told him how sorry I was that this happened to him and how I tried so so hard to try to help him. The issue of elder abuse in the hand of family members is an silent epidemic, where the senior dies and the story is not told. This is the time to tell their story.